Category Archives: Humor

Avian Reveal: Our Five Picks for New Bird Names

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We had planned to publish this post on Thanksgiving, but were in Minnesota and the “auto publish” tool failed—and not for the first time. Still, we hope you enjoy this post-Thanksgiving post, and even more, we hope you all had a lovely long weekend with friends and family. Braden and I have much to be grateful for—including you, our faithful readers—and thank you for your interest and enthusiasm over the years. Now get out there and bird!

Lest you think the birding community is immune from internecine disputes, I present to you two issues that have been roiling birders for the past decade: the woeful situation of horrible state bird choices, and the more recent—and contentious—decision by the American Ornithological Society to begin changing English language common names of all birds named after people. Braden recently addressed the disgraceful situation surrounding our state birds in his post “Getting Serious About State Birds”. Today, I’d like to tackle the AOS’s earth-shaking naming decision.

If you’re a birder, you pretty much have to be living under a rock not to know about this recent shocker. A complete, explanatory news release can be found here, but basically, the American Ornithological Society has long assumed responsibility for the English language common names of all American birds. After years of debate, it has decided to axe all eponymous bird names—those honoring specific individuals. This decision has triggered several immediate results. One is to improve the vocabulary of millions of Americans (myself included) who have had to look up the word “eponymous” in the dictionary. The second is to unleash a foaming volcano of vitriol as birders across America—nay, the world—have vigorously defended and attacked the new policy.

I’ll just come out and say that both Braden and I generally support the AOS decision, but as with most things, the matter is more nuanced than passionate social media posts lead you to believe. There’s no question that certain eponymous names can be deemed offensive, but there are plenty of others that you have to try really hard to be offended by—and it’s a shame we have to chuck the baby out with the (bird) bath water. Unfortunately, failing to do so would ignite endless, often pointless debate about each and every eponymous bird name that exists. All of that time, energy, and money is better spent protecting birds rather than debating their names, and so the AOS wisely decided to wipe the slate clean.

Rather than add to the already burdensome body of opinion flooding the media, Braden and I decided it would be fun simply to pick five of our favorite Rocky Mountains birds that will be impacted by this decision—and try to come up with the perfect new names for each. We hope you will weigh in with your own (non-offensive) thoughts about our choices, as well as your own (non-offensive) alternatives. We will start with perhaps our favorite North American warbler—and perhaps the most difficult to rename.

MACGILLIVRAY’S WARBLER

One of the ironies of MacGillivray’s Warbler is that it was named after an 18th-century Scottish ornithologist who devoted much of his life to, you guessed it, coming up with better names for British birds! Names such as Red-throated Thistlefinch, Quaketail, and Provence Furzeling—none of which survived the test of time. MacGillivray was a controversial figure and apparently offended almost everyone during his lifetime, but that didn’t stop John James Audubon from naming one of our most spectacular American warblers after him. I mean, just look at this bird. He’s not as showy as some others, but his colors are refined, sophisticated. Any lady of quality will recognize it—and if his looks don’t do it, his sweet sophisticated song will clinch the deal. Braden and I always stop when a MGWA pops out of a bush, and we’re not the only ones. But what should the AOS call it?

The bird breeds in shrubby places, often near streams or in recent burn areas, but somehow Shrubby Warbler or Second-growth Warbler don’t seem deserving of this special bird. As far as its looks, Hooded Warbler and Mourning Warbler are already taken—and honestly, aren’t all that great anyway. The partial white eye rings stand out, and are an identification key, so perhaps Crescent-Eyed Warbler? Its hood also gives off a velvet or satiny sheen, so Velvet-hooded Warbler? Quicksilver Warbler? Silver-headed Warbler? After much agonizing, we have landed on Satin Crescent-Eye. Of the five birds included here, this one poses the toughest challenge, so we’d love to hear your suggestions!

CLARK’S NUTCRACKER

When William Clark, of the famous Lewis and Clark Expedition, first saw a Clark’s Nutcracker, he thought it was a woodpecker. However, that didn’t prevent the bird from becoming one of the most iconic species of the West. Clark’s Nutcrackers are especially known for planting high-altitude pine forests—especially those of the White-barked Pine. Each bird caches thousands of pine seeds, far more than it can use, and the overlooked seeds sprout into new forests. The birds and trees are so interconnected that the pines have actually evolved changes in the shapes of their seeds and cones that facilitate dispersal by the nutcracker. Because of this important and fascinating relationship, Braden and I hereby vote to bestow the bird with the name Whitebark Nutcracker. Long live the nutcracker!

LEWIS’S WOODPECKER

Despite the rather embarrassing ID mistake with the Clark’s Nutcracker, the Lewis & Clark Expedition did end up being honored with a woodpecker after all—the Lewis’s Woodpecker. Renaming this bird has engendered spirited debate on Facebook and elsewhere, perhaps because Lewis’s may be America’s most stunning woodpecker. With a green back that often looks black, a subtle gray collar, and an absolutely spectacular watermelon-colored breast and face, the bird has inspired a host of potential names such as Glamorous Woodpecker, Pink-and-Green Woodpecker, and Silver-scarfed Glossy Woodpecker. To us, these kinds of names seem a bit plebian and uninspired. Not only that, the decline of the species is most closely related to the loss of a particular type of tree, so why not bestow a name that involves some education as well? Because of this, we officially propose—nay, insist—that this bird henceforth be called the Cottonwood Woodpecker.

TOWNSEND’S SOLITAIRE

Both Townsend’s Solitaire and Townsend’s Warbler—not to mention at least half a dozen mammals—are named after noted 19th-century naturalist John Kirk Townsend. Townsend came from an ardently anti-slavery Quaker family and accompanied renowned botanist Thomas Nuttall (Nuttall’s Woodpecker) on an 1834 expedition across the Rocky Mountains to the Pacific. During this time, Townsend collected numerous specimens new to Western science—including, coincidentally—MacGillivray’s Warbler! As if all that wasn’t enough to make us love Townsend’s Solitaires, this is a bird that symbolizes the onset of winter, as it descends to our neighborhood after its mountain breeding season. Add to that its lively, musical song and subtle good looks, and the bird has had no trouble flying into our hearts. The AOS decision also gives us a chance to bestow the perfect, slam-dunk name on the bird: Silver Solitaire.

LINCOLN’S SPARROW

You might think that if ever a bird deserves to keep its eponymous name, it’s got to be Lincoln’s Sparrow, right? I mean who can argue with the president that consistently sits atop the list of greatest presidents in our nation’s history? Alas, the bird isn’t named for that Lincoln. Instead, Audubon named it after the 21-year-old son of a friend, Thomas Lincoln, who accompanied him on an expedition to Labrador, Canada. Audubon had not seen a Lincoln’s Sparrow before, but when one popped up, Thomas Lincoln immediately shot it with a slingshot. Even with that fairly bittersweet story, Lincoln’s Sparrow rules our favorite sparrows list.

This bird exudes charm. It breeds in boggy habitats, usually among willows and often near taller perching trees. It sings a complex, multi-part composition that brightens any landscape, and will often pop out on a branch to give birders excellent viewing experiences. Though subtle, its colors are striking. A yellow wash on its breast and “moustache” contrast most beautifully with its gray and rufous head and white eye ring. The subtlety of its colors, however, and superficial resemblance to other sparrows, makes the bird particularly challenging to rename. Swamp Sparrow, after all, is already taken. Our friend, ornithologist Dick Hutto, suggests Willow Sparrow and that’s not half-bad, but we feel the bird deserves something more inspiring. We therefore dub it . . . Autumn Sparrow! This name not only matches its colors, but coincides with one of the two seasons when many U.S. birders have their best shot at seeing the bird since it can only be found in most states during migration.

So that’s a wrap. We’ve done the heavy listing for the AOS on some of America’s favorite birds. Now, the committee will just have to roll up its sleeves and figure out the other 75 or so species on their immediate list! Braden and I wish them good luck—and if they run into trouble, they know who to call. Our rates are very reasonable.

Oregon Birding Grandeur at Smith Rock State Park

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To help usher you into a (hopefully) fun and festive holiday week, we’re pleased to present our second guest post by FSB’s Oregon field correspondent, Roger Kohn. Roger recently retired from a storied career of government service, giving him much more time to pursue his birding passions with his birding wife, Claudia. Here, he takes us to a place Braden and I have never visited—Smith Rock State Park.

You all lead busy lives, so why not take a break to embark on a vicarious adventure with me to one of central Oregon’s most beautiful places?

Eager for some epic scenery and inspiration before the snow flies and temperatures plummet, my wife, Claudia, and I drove 40 minutes north of Bend to Smith Rock State Park last week. After snagging a parking spot (a blood sport at this uber-popular park), we were greeted by a few Black-billed Magpies — with their bold black, white, and blue markings and extra-long tails.

Walk with us to the rim of a deep canyon and take in the magnificent vista that opens up below you, where the Crooked River wends its way through a rugged landscape of sheer cliffs formed by volcanic eruptions, and hillsides dotted with western juniper trees. With temperatures in the high 40s, it is perfect walking weather as we begin a steep zigzag descent into the Realm of Peregrine Falcons and Golden Eagles. (Alas, we won’t see any today.) Keep some energy in reserve, because what goes down must go back up. Reaching the bottom, we cross the river on the brand-new pedestrian bridge that replaced its old and battered predecessor.

The Crooked River flows through a stunning volcanic landscape.

As we make our way upriver, the Merlin Sound ID app (a great tool, but know its limitations) alerts us to the likely presence of Canyon Wrens. This surprised me because while I heard bird calls, I did not hear the melodic, descending call notes that I have learned to associate with this striking wren species. But Merlin was spot-on and in a few minutes we see a couple of Canyon Wrens calling and hopping among the boulders on the rugged terrain above us. With their enchanting calls, long bills, warm rufous tones and gray heads speckled with white, Canyon Wrens are always a pleasure to observe, especially when one of them poses on a rock for a perfect photo opportunity.

I learned that the call and song repertoire of the Canyon Wren is even more varied than I had realized.

Continuing our walk along the river, we saw no ducks—at first. But soon a group of handsome Barrow’s Goldeneyes, a reliable species here, makes their appearance, diving below the surface to find food (and perhaps worry about their pending name change, following a recent announcement by the American Ornithological Society that names associated with people are gradually being replaced). The males of this species are easy to distinguish from very similar male Common Goldeneyes because the white patch on their face is crescent-shaped, not circular. As for the females, good luck with that, though female Barrow’s usually sport more orange or yellow on their bills than their Common counterparts. Your best clue is simply the presence of a male Barrow’s nearby. Later in our walk, Claudia focuses her binoculars on one male with a circular white patch. Great catch! There was at least one Common Goldeneye among the Barrow’s.

At Smith Rock, you always have an excellent chance to see the elegant Barrow’s Goldeneye—with an attitude!

All around us, hordes of robins make sure we know that thrushes rule. I don’t know what makes this species so successful, but on any given birding walk we see dozens of them. In one location two years ago, we saw THOUSANDS of them. True story.

Wait — did you hear that? What’s that high-pitched ti-ti-ti sound? Looking around in the junipers close to us, we see that a flock of Golden-crowned Kinglets has suddenly appeared out of nowhere, looking all fine and dandy (and they know it), with their spectacular yellow crowns with bold black stripes. These tiny birds can tolerate temperatures well below zero, and will huddle together for warmth to survive subzero weather. They are hyperactive and often forage high in the treetops, so they’re hard to see and even harder to photograph. But today we are lucky. The kinglets flit about at eye level, and I capture a few decent photos of this gorgeous species.

We lucked out and got unobstructed eye level views of Golden-crowned Kinglets. What a treat!

The river bends. Colorful canyon walls in shades of pale green, pink, and gold tower above us, rising straight up to dizzying heights. Rock climbers challenge themselves on tough routes, and we see some of them standing atop the highest cliffs, where normally only raptors dare to soar.

Get ready to feel the burn, though, because it’s time to hike up out of the canyon. Pausing at the bridge before our ascent, we get great looks at Golden-crowned Sparrows in a feeding bonanza in a re-seeded grassy area (see recent post, “Zoning Out on Zonotrichia Sparrows”). The breeding habits of this species in Alaska and British Columbia are not well known.

It’s always a pleasure to observe Golden-crowned Sparrows when migration brings them through central Oregon.

Up, up, up we go. We stop to rest as our hearts pound, and see a raptor far away, atop one of the highest cliffs on the other side of the river. Too far to ID, but photo processing later reveals a likely Red-tailed Hawk.

No matter how many times you visit, Smith Rock will take your breath away. It is a truly magical place.

Back home, I invite you to sip an Oregon-brewed pale ale with delicious citrusy, floral hop flavors and a lovely bready malt backbone as you bask in the glow of seeing some great birds in a landscape like no other.

eBird Checklist – 10 Nov 2023 – Smith Rock SP – 20 species (+1 other taxa)

All photos and text copyright Roger Kohn.

Getting Serious About State Birds

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The following is a written version of a presentation Braden gave to the UMaine Birding Club at last Thursday’s meeting. Warning: Do Not Read unless you have a sense of humor!

In the 1920s, the General Federation of Women’s Clubs decided that every state should have a bird to represent it, a bird of its very own. A diverse array of groups, including women’s clubs, schoolchildren, and state legislatures voted on the state birds, eventually giving each state a bird (well, almost every state, and we’ll get to that). But put quite simply, most of the state bird selections are bad, and I’m not the only birder who believes this. Almost anyone with knowledge of North America’s avifauna agrees that the people who selected the state birds of the United States of America did a woefully horrible job. Let’s go over why that is.

In order to call a state bird “bad,” you must first determine what makes a state bird “good.” I designed the following set of criteria expressly for this purpose:

  1. Each state must have a state bird.
  2. The state bird must be a real bird.
  3. The state bird must be wild.
  4. The state bird must be unique to, native to, and representative of that state.
  5. The state bird name must not be offensive or insulting to the vast majority of American citizens.

These criteria should be easy to fulfill, but after analyzing each and every state bird, I determined that a mere thirteen of the state birds qualify as “good.” Willow Ptarmigan, for example, is the state bird of Alaska. Willow Ptarmigans are real, wild birds found across the entire state. Furthermore, they represent their state in a way no other state birds could. To wit, much of Alaska in summer is brown—and so is the Willow Ptarmigan. In winter, Alaska is white—and so is Willow Ptarmigan. Finally, their name doesn’t offend anyone. This, then, is a great example of what a state bird can and should be.

The Scissor-tailed Flycatcher is a stunning example of a great state bird. Good job Oklahoma—though how Texas overlooked it is beyond us.

Twelve other states met my criteria, due to their well-thought-out, unique selections. These include Georgia, with the Brown Thrasher, a widespread backyard bird with a great singing voice, and Oklahoma, with the Scissor-tailed Flycatcher, a bird that only breeds in a limited part of the country that includes Oklahoma. It also sports striking colors and an impressive caboose. The other states with good state birds are: Arizona (Cactus Wren); Colorado (Lark Bunting); Hawaii (Nene); Louisiana (Brown Pelican, my dad’s favorite bird); Maryland (Baltimore Oriole); Minnesota (Common Loon); New Hampshire (Purple Finch); New Mexico (Greater Roadrunner); South Carolina (Carolina Wren); and finally, Vermont, with Hermit Thrush as its avian emblem.

New Mexico’s Greater Roadrunner offers yet another excellent state bird example—though we saw this one behind a gas station in Tucson, Arizona.

The bad news? THIRTY-SEVEN states fail the “good bird” criteria, which, honestly, is ridiculous. Let’s take a closer look at how various states have failed in their selections, one criterion at a time.

CRITERION #1: EACH BIRD MUST HAVE A STATE BIRD.

Now, you’d think this one would be easy, right? The General Federation of Women’s Clubs said that each state should have a bird to represent it, and so all fifty of the states should have followed suit, right? Wrong. Pennsylvania, of all places, failed this most simple of tests. I had a job in Pennsylvania last summer, and loved it. I got to know the state’s avifauna well, with its dozens of breeding warblers and melodic Wood Thrushes and goofy Scarlet Tanagers. Golden-winged Warblers have leapt to the top of my all-time favorite birds list because of what I experienced—so you can imagine my utter disappointment upon finding out that the Keystone State completely lacks a “Keystone bird.”

Now, Pennsylvania does have a state game bird. Is this the same? No. No, it is not. South Carolina’s state game bird is the Northern Bobwhite. That is different from its state bird, the Carolina Wren. Georgia’s state game bird is the Wild Turkey, while its state bird is the Brown Thrasher. State birds should represent the cultural and ecological aspects of the regions they are chosen for. State game birds, on the other hand, are birds that people most like to shoot at. So no, I don’t care how adorable a Ruffed Grouse’s neck feathers look during the breeding season. It is the state game bird of Pennsylvania, but it is not the state bird. Sigh.

As much as we love Ruffed Grouse, we’re sorry Pennsylvania: it does not count for your state bird!

CRITERION #2: THE STATE BIRD MUST BE A REAL BIRD.

This is what I got the most flack about during my birding club presentation, and it was mainly due to the two club members from New Jersey. Go figure. So let’s talk about goldfinches. There are three goldfinches native to North America. One is the American Goldfinch, one of the continent’s most widespread species. Another is the Lesser Goldfinch, found in the arid southwest (and now, likely thanks to climate change, parts of Montana). The third breeds only in California and winters in the desert—the Lawrence’s Goldfinch. American, Lesser, Lawrence’s. Three goldfinches. Just three.

So why is New Jersey’s state bird the EASTERN Goldfinch? That’s not a thing! It does not exist! You might say, “Well, Braden, I’m from New Jersey and think I’m pretty cool and would like to inform you that Eastern Goldfinch is actually the subspecies of American Goldfinch found in New Jersey.” My response: “Well Mr. and/or Mrs. New Jersey, I didn’t think I had to clarify that a state bird must be a full species!” Your state bird cannot be an obscure subspecies, and beyond that, the people who picked the Eastern Goldfinch didn’t even know what subspecies are. They likely chose it because back then, American Goldfinches were known as Eastern Goldfinches in New Jersey. Well, guess what? It’s 2023 now, not 1923, so wake up and change your state bird’s name. Oh, and by the way, Iowa did the same thing! Thankfully, no western states would make this kind of ridiculous mis—

Oh, wait a minute. I forgot about Washington. Its state bird is the WILLOW Goldfinch! Did I stutter when I said there were three goldfinches in the U.S.? Eastern is not among them, and Willow most certainly is not! All this being said, these errors are mostly due to changes in bird names over the last century and states not updating those bird names. I was joking about what I said above, concerning Mr. and Mrs. New Jersey. Mostly. Let’s move on.

Hello, New Jersey? These are Lawrence’s Goldfinches—actual, real birds. So-called “Eastern Goldfinches” are not!

CRITERION #3: THE STATE BIRD MUST BE WILD.

Domesticated animals do not represent the unique land that each state contains. We brought them here for our own reasons, and they exist here simply to serve us. Wild birds are not like that. And so what was Rhode Island thinking when it selected a breed of chicken, the Rhode Island Red? Granted, Rhode Island doesn’t have much land to work with, but the state still has recorded more than 300 species of native, wild birds. Were all of the state legislators hungry the day they picked a chicken? Was Colonel Sanders sitting amongst these legislators, throwing feathers at them and offering to fund their next campaigns for office? Whatever the reason, Rhode Island somehow did a better job than Delaware, which not only selected a chicken, but picked the Delaware Blue Hen, something that isn’t even an officially recognized breed. Still, we’re not going to honor either selection with a photo.

CRITERION #4: THE STATE BIRD MUST BE UNIQUE TO, NATIVE TO, AND REPRESENTATIVE OF THAT STATE.

Oh, boy. Here we go. Up to this point, we’ve had a few failures per criterion—a state without a state bird here, two chickens there—but things are about to ramp up.

Let’s start with a state bird that isn’t *that* bad: California’s state bird, the California Quail. It’s found across the state, it’s familiar, it’s endearing, and it even has the state’s name embedded in it. There are seven birds named for the state of California, and I have to admit that the California Quail was a better choice than most of the others: the California Thrasher, Scrub-Jay, Gnatcatcher, Towhee and Gull. The quail is the second best California bird. But one overshadows it, one of North America’s largest birds, a critically endangered species that soars between the canyons of Big Sur State Park and over the rocky red pillars of Pinnacles National Park. This bird almost went extinct, thanks to DDT among other things, and is only still with us because of the work of Rachel Carson and hundreds of other hard-working conservationists. There’s really little to debate; the California Condor should, hands down, be California’s state bird. It may not be as widespread as the quail, but with persistent conservation efforts and luck, it may be again someday.

During our Big Year, my dad and I were lucky enough to see California Condors—a slam-dunk for California’s state bird!

Leaping down from that majestic image, I present to you Utah’s state bird: the California Gull. Do you see anything wrong here? Not only did Utah select a bird named after another state, it probably picked the worst of the California-named birds. The choice involves Mormons and agriculture and hordes of grasshoppers and gulls appearing like angels in the rising sun to gobble up those grasshoppers and save the day. Still, human agricultural practices and ravenous insects are no reason to pick a state bird named after another state. Utah, you can do better. Maybe a project for Mitt Romney, now that he’s retiring?

And that brings us to the repeats. Maine and Massachusetts share Black-capped Chickadee as their state bird. Is Black-capped Chickadee a bad state bird? No. They’re one of North America’s most familiar birds and have adorable, curious personalities. In fact, they’re probably on my fairly long list of favorite birds. That said, a state bird should be unique. My solution? Give Mass the chickadee. Maine has a variety of excellent options, including boreal birds like Spruce Grouse and seabirds like Razorbill. And of course the Atlantic Puffin is plastered on every sign, billboard and advertisement in the coastal part of the state—why not make it the state bird?

Eastern Bluebird represents both New York and Missouri, creating the same problem. Again, there is nothing wrong with the bluebird as a state bird, but only one of these states should claim it. Idaho and Nevada both have Mountain Bluebird, and American Robin is the state bird of three states: Connecticut, Wisconsin and Michigan. 

Northern Mockingbird represents five states, and it gets worse, because they include two of best birding states in the country: Texas and Florida. Both states receive a phenomenal array of species within their borders, with Florida recording more than 500 species and Texas surpassing 600. Texas is home to the endangered prairie-chickens that dance in the shortgrass prairie, an endemic warbler and vireo found in the hill country, dozens of colorful Mexican species, and just about every bird that migrates into or out of North America. Florida, meanwhile, holds two birds that feed exclusively on snails, a trio of birds found only in the endangered Longleaf Pine Savanna ecosystem, and a completely endemic corvid named after the state itself: the Florida Scrub-Jay. And yet, what did they choose? The Northern Mockingbird—along with Tennessee, Mississippi and Arkansas. As a humorous aside, I found this defense from an op-ed in a Florida newspaper arguing for the mockingbird and against the scrub-jay as the state’s bird: “The mockingbird is a well-established, independent, prolific bird that doesn’t need government protection or our tax dollars to survive.” 

Don’t get us wrong, people. We LOVE Northern Mockingbirds, but don’t you know you’re not supposed to copy off of other people’s exams?

Believe it or not, Northern Mockingbird isn’t even the most commonly chosen state bird. Western Meadowlark is the state bird of six states, including Montana and Oregon, two diverse states that mean a lot to me. I’ve had a lot of fun experiencing the birdlife of these two places over the last decade (yes, my dad and I have been birding for a decade as of this January), and Western Meadowlark is an icon of the West, but again, six states do not need to have the same bird. For Montana I might suggest Black Swift, Sprague’s Pipit, or Chestnut-collared Longspur. Varied Thrush would make a stunning bird to grace Oregon’s flags and signs.

And that brings us to the Northern Cardinal, the state bird that just won’t stop. After Kentucky chose it in the early 1920s, six more states followed suit. I mean, it’s fun and red, but seriously??? With all the other great birds to choose from, the lack of creativity amongst these states is mind-boggling.

The selection of Northern Cardinal by seven, count ’em, SEVEN states proves that a) state bird committees are lazy or b) Americans have an outsized love of Santa Claus and his red outfit.

Oh, and as for the “native to” part of this criterion? South Dakota’s state bird is the Ring-necked Pheasant—a native of China, not the United States. Not even the same continent! Note to South Dakota politicians: you may not want to use this bird as part of your political platform. Which, finally, brings us to . . .

CRITERION #5: THE STATE BIRD MUST NOT BEAR A NAME OFFENSIVE TO LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE.

This is a no-brainer, and my dad will address it in an upcoming post.

For now, this post is longer than expected so I’ll wrap up swiftly. The state birds are bad, plain and simple. Most need to be changed. Do I think they ever will be? No. Meanwhile, if this post raised your blood pressure (and it should!), please let us know what you think your state bird should be!

“Zoning Out” on Zonotrichia Sparrows

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You may have noticed that many of my recent posts have centered on a) sparrows and b) nemesis birds. This post will combine those topics in a way that I hope will elicit six-figure offers for film rights along with invitations to various network morning shows. Strap in, because it promises to be a thrilling ride. Or mildly entertaining. Or at least more interesting than scrubbing the bathroom sink. Here goes.

Do you see the Golden-crowned Sparrow in this roadside pullout? I didn’t either.

In my recent pursuits of nemesis birds (see From One Nemesis Bird to Another and Gambling on a Grouse-fecta), one bird that I have sorely neglected is the Golden-crowned Sparrow. In fact, it may have been the most common species still missing from my Montana life list. Braden and I first beheld one of these gorgeous birds at the Moonglow Dairy outside of Monterey, California while we were pursuing our first Big Year back in 2016. Since then, we’ve seen them several times in California and Oregon—which is probably why they never became a top priority for us in Montana. Nonetheless, stray GCSPs show up in Montana often enough that they should have been beeping more loudly on our radars. Last week, when Braydon Luikart (see Gambling on a Grouse-fecta) notified me that a Golden-crowned had been spotted in Missoula, well, I guess I was finally alert enough to seize the opportunity. I threw Lola into our trusty minivan and headed out to LaValle Creek Road near the airport.

As I turned onto the muddy track, it was clear that word had gotten out when I began passing a veritable Who’s Who of Missoula birding. These included avian biologist William Blake (formerly of MPG Ranch, now with the American Bird Conservancy), and veteran birders Adam Mitchell, Thomas Kallmeyer, and Di Litz. William and Adam gave me directions to the sparrow spot, and a mile or so later, I pulled over onto a muck-filled turnout.

“It should be right there,” William had told me, but when I climbed out of the car with my binoculars and camera, I didn’t see a thing. Figures, I thought. I’m going to be the only birder in Missoula who doesn’t see this bird.

I studied the surrounding bushes and road without spotting anything, then took a couple of steps forward. Suddenly, I saw movement at my feet. The Golden-crowned! It was so perfectly camouflaged with the muddy ground that my eyes scanned over it two or three times without detecting it! Talk about your easy nemesis birds! I had a nice long visit with this fellow, admiring its subtle yellow lores and crown, boldly striped back, and finely striped breast. Its gray bill indicated it was a “1st winter bird,” fledged this past summer. Whoo-Hoo! Montana Lifer #303!

Golden-crowned Sparrows breed in western Canada and Alaska, but a few clip Montana every year on their way to their wintering grounds along the West Coast.

William and Adam had told me they’d seen Pine Grosbeaks and Gray-crowned Rosy-finches further up the road, so I continued on to a place locally known as “the corral.” There, I found UM grad student Tim Forrester also looking for the birds. Tim’s been all over the U.S. and many places abroad studying birds, and we had a nice conversation while waiting for other birds to show up. Alas, I guess I’d hit my limit for great birds for the day—though I did see a nice pair of American Tree Sparrows on the drive out.

As I always do after a great find, I called Braden to share the news. After congratulating me, he asked, “You know what this means, don’t you?” “Uh, no.”

“It means,” he said, “that you’ve seen all four of Montana’s Zonotrichia sparrow species!” He recounted the four species for me, and I realized that they were four of my favorite sparrows: White-crowned, White-throated, Harris’s, and now Golden-crowned. What’s more, I’d seen all but Harris’s Sparrow this year.

Braden and I find White-throated Sparrows almost every fall in Missoula—but we have to work hard for them.

“But what exactly are Zonotrichia sparrows?” you may be asking. Good question!

Birds in the genus Zonotrichia are among our largest sparrows. They all have heavily-streaked backs and are ground-feeders, snagging seeds, grain, insects, and spiders. At first, their bold head markings look quite different from each other, but if you compare the four species side-by-side, you will see that they bear strong similarities. White-crowned Sparrows (see Welcoming White-crowned Sparrows—with Observer Bias) and White-throated Sparrows (see March Madness Birding in Missouri) have the widest distributions and are probably the “Zones” that people are most familiar with. In Montana, Harris’s probably have the greatest cool factor. Braden and I have seen them only once together (see A Quest for Snowy Owls), and I saw them once more a couple of years ago. No two ways about it, though, adding Golden-crowned to my Montana list made my day.

Only the second Harris’s Sparrow I’d ever found—while looking for loons with Amy at Seeley Lake. And no, we didn’t find the loons!

I’m not quite finished zoning out, however. So far, I’ve mentioned four species of Zonotrichia, but there’s a fifth, and it’s one almost anyone visiting Latin America will recognize: the Rufous-collared Sparrow. Braden and I first encountered these handsome critters during our 2017 family trip to Ecuador and Peru, though I’m sure I saw them in Costa Rica before I became a birder. In fact, this is probably the most common bird we saw in urban and suburban settings—so common, that we soon began taking them for granted. I hereby pledge not to ever do that again. Meanwhile, wherever you are, I invite you to zone out for yourself. Especially if you live in the southern half of the U.S., the West Coast, and much of the Atlantic seaboard, I guarantee there’s some Zonotrichia near you. Braden and I will be waiting for your reports!

White-crowned Update: In writing my recent post “Welcoming White-Crowneds,” published October 1st, I felt pretty sure that I had seen my last White-crowned for the season. However, just yesterday, October 31st, I saw yet another one out at the Fort Missoula Gravel Quarry, reinforcing my feeling that these “Zoned-Out” birds are having a very good year!

The “Fifth Zone,” Rufous-collared Sparrows were our constant companions during our 2017 family trip to Ecuador and Peru. (Photo by Braden Collard—no relation to Rufous Collard.)

Gambling on a Grouse-fecta

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FatherSonBirding is a totally free, non-commercial blog that Braden and I write to share our passion for birds and birding, and to help educate others about birds and bird conservation. We do not accept donations, but if you would like to support us in our endeavors, please consider purchasing *new copies* of one or more of Sneed’s books—the new picture book Border Crossings, for example. These books are widely available online or can be ordered from your local independent bookstore. Oh, and they make great holiday gifts! Thank you for your support.

Many of you have followed my woeful failure to see a Spruce Grouse since I began birding ten years ago. This has brought endless shame to my family and led me to self-medicate with copious quantities of chocolate, exploding my waistline and making it difficult to hold up my head (and pants) in the Montana birding community (see our post “Fall Birding in Glacier National Park”).

I have rendered myself such a pitiful specimen of a birder that several of you have kindly reached out with compassionate suggestions of where I might finally find a Spruce Grouse so that I could regain a shred of self-esteem. I had dutifully begun making plans to pursue these suggestions—when I saw that accomplished Lake County birder Braydon Luikart (not to be confused with my son, Braden) had sighted some SPGRs relatively close to me. I contacted Braydon to see if he might be up for a Spruce Grouse expedition, and he cautiously accepted, no doubt wondering if it might damage his birding career to be associated with such a “grouse failure” as myself.

Though he could at first be confused with my own son, Braydon Luikart is no relation—but generously agreed to lend his terrific birding skills to my search for a Spruce Grouse.

I picked up Braydon at his house at 8 a.m. as a crescent moon rose into a growing dawn, and he led me to a logging road across from Finley Point on Flathead Lake. In no time, we were climbing up the breathtaking face of the Mission Mountains. Finding a Spruce Grouse sat foremost in our minds, but we began musing that if fortune shined down on us, we might find all three possible grouse: Ruffed, Dusky, and Spruce! This especially appealed to me because—and I don’t know if I should even admit this—I hadn’t seen ANY of them in 2023. I’d spotted almost all of the other game birds in Montana including Greater Sage-Grouse, Sharp-tailed Grouse, and even White-tailed Ptarmigan, but the three in my own backyard? Nada. Zilch. Rien. Shum davar.

Our idea to win the “grouse-fecta” got off to a great start when, after the first five miles, Braydon hollered “Stop! Dusky Grouse!” I hit the brakes of my wife’s CRV which, on Braydon’s sage advice, I’d borrowed in favor of the minivan. “Where?” I asked, already reaching for my camera. Braydon pointed at five chicken-sized birds scurrying up into the brush.

This female Dusky Grouse kicked off our potential “grouse-fecta” in fine style. Note the color and pattern differences from the female Spruce Grouse below.

Fortunately, grouse tend to be pretty unreactive, placing far too much faith on their amazing camouflage to escape detection. Four of the grouse made their way into photo-unfriendly territory, but the fifth, a female, posed attractively on a stump. This allowed me to capture one of my best Dusky Grouse photos ever, and afterward, I happily climbed back into the car.

“One down, two to go,” I said.

We continued climbing switchbacks past smoldering stumps and log piles—efforts to reduce slash after recent logging and a forest fire several years ago. At around 5,700 feet, Braydon said, “I hear a Boreal Chickadee.” To be honest, this was almost as exciting as a possible Spruce Grouse. Only the week before, Braydon had been the first person ever to confirm and photograph Boreal Chickadees in Lake County! As for me, I had never seen one outside of Glacier National Park. (See our post “Are You Ready for . . . the QUACH?”)

The week before our expedition, Braydon became the first person to confirm and photograph Boreal Chickadees in Lake County, Montana. Fortunately, we saw them again on our outing! (Photo courtesy of Braydon Luikart)

We scrambled out of the car and quickly found ourselves in a wonderful mixed flock of both Boreal and Mountain Chickadees, Golden-crowned Kinglets, Red-breasted Nuthatches, Canada Jays, and one of my favorite mixed-flock birds—the secretive Brown Creeper. With my new hearing aids (more on that in another post), I could pick up more call details than I’d heard in years, and Braydon managed a great photo of a BOCH that briefly alighted on the end of a branch. “But where are the Spruce Grouse?” Braydon lamented as we continued picking our way around rocks and slash down the muddy road. “They were all over here last week.”

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a good photo of a Brown Creeper—but am always delighted to find one! They commonly accompany mixed-species flocks, but are often overlooked.

I tried to be philosophical. “I probably just haven’t put in enough time looking for them,” I said. “The grouse gods have not yet deemed me worthy.” Unfortunately, the road continued to deteriorate, with puddles the size of small lakes appearing in front of us. I powered through several of these, but about 18 miles in, I finally began fearing the wrath of my wife Amy if I had to abandon her car in a deep muddy lake in the middle of the mountains. Reluctantly, I performed a five-point turn and we headed back toward civilization. “We’re going to see Spruce Grouse on the way back,” I said, but didn’t really believe it.

We continued to keep our eyes out, but relaxed into conversation about birds, careers, and life. I learned that Braydon is taking a gap semester after high school and plans to pursue a career in wildlife, probably after a degree from the University of Montana. In fact, Braydon asked a number of questions about my son Braden’s plans and what made him choose the University of Maine. As we were chatting amiably, however, I rounded a corner—and saw three shapes fifty yards ahead of us.

I slammed the brakes. “Grouse!”

“Spruce Grouse!” Braydon confirmed.

As spectacular as male Spruce Grouse are, I gotta say I just love the patterns on this female.

Sure enough, two females and a male lifted their heads in surprise as we stopped. Unfortunately, as we cautiously got out of the car with our cameras and binoculars, the male and a female ambled into the scrub—but the other female seemed completely unperturbed by our presence. In fact, as we crept forward, the other female joined her, allowing us great photos of both birds. I was especially glad of that because I hadn’t realized how gorgeous the females truly are. As usual, most attention goes to the males, but these females displayed striking stripes and almost golden rufous patterning. True, I would have liked to see a breeding male, but I felt exultant. Not only had The Curse of the Spruce Grouse been vanquished forever, this bird was 998 on my Life List—only two birds away from that magical number 1,000. (See our recent post “From One Nemesis Bird to Another.”)

Elated, we again lapsed into lively conversation as we continued down the road. Only a couple of miles later, however, Braydon again exclaimed, “Stop!” I saw immediately what he was looking at, but it looked suspiciously like a rock.

It wasn’t.

Strike a pose! This handsome, if overdressed, male Spruce Grouse—my first ever—evidently mistook me for the casting agent of Project Grouse-way.

There, in the middle of the road, sat another Spruce Grouse—a resplendent male. Even better, this one didn’t flee as we climbed out of the car, and we were able to walk to within twenty yards of it, getting some great photos. After a few minutes, the bird decided it would rather view us from above, so with a few quick flaps of its wings, it skedaddled into a space between two spruce trees. There it stayed, giving us more decent photos before we left it in peace and headed back down the mountain.

After flying up into the trees, this male Spruce Grouse kept a curious eye on us.

Alas, we were still one grouse short of our “grouse-fecta”—a Ruffed Grouse. Still, I felt optimistic. Ruffies live down at lower elevations, often in riparian areas, so our chances would improve as we made our way back down to Flathead Lake. We rounded corner after corner expecting to see one—alas to no avail. Our bookie walked away with our fat grouse-fecta bets, an important lesson in getting too grouse-timistic. Braydon, though, redeemed this minor setback by locating one of the first Pacific Loons of the year on nearby Flathead Lake. The bird preened far out on the water, but its gray head clearly showed itself—a wonderful bonus in a day I would long remember.